Today was definitely one of those days when I wish I could have wrapped up in my blankets and pretended life was not actually happening. Alas, the world never stops spinning. I don’t get to press “Pause” on my life. I read something today that just really resonated. It was about people kind of venting to their friends and what purpose it served. It all really made sense and tied into how I’ve been feeling recently. I wrote this in hopes that I would be better able to process how I was feeling and to obviously make myself feel better. My pep talk worked.
Mistakes are these beautiful hiccups in life whose existence is rooted in making us wiser. The word holds a negative connotation, but by its very definition it is simply an action or a judgement that was misguided.
We judge ourselves and other far too harshly. You cannot accurately assess anything about yourself or your situation if your existence is devoid of faults. Mistakes shine light on your relationships and who you are as an individual. Mistakes teach us life lessons. The teach us to forgive. You gain confidence and experience from every new mistake that you make. I love mistakes because they show us where we are and where we want to be. It provides a baseline to become better at the things we love.
Life is arbitrary. It’s fucked and it’s random and it can be devastatingly unfair. You don’t need to change yourself or change anything at all to be happy. Life does not care about your plans. Life can be heartbreaking and it can be beautiful, but its out of your control. The only thing that you can control in life is your own actions and reaction. This life can be so beautiful if you just stopped to let it in. The problem with people is that our hopes and what we believe will make us happy is invested in our future. We wish away our days waiting for better ones. As a society we’re entitled and we lack any real insight as what we require to be happy. Every day you get to wake up and smile and laugh and love and make new choices. You’re allowed to hit “Refresh” on your life. You are given the opportunity to evolve with each new day and its something that people fail to appreciate.
People are constantly looking for validation. It is the human condition. We need someone else to tell us what we are worth.
It is part of our constant search to feel as if our choices were the right ones and if our view on our own life is correct. The issue with constantly seeking validations from others is that you are leaving yourself invariably vulnerable to people that will wish to diminish your light. Nobody will ever know your experiences in the way that you do. Our analysis of said experiences may be muddled with self-doubt, resentment, or guilt, but it is uniquely yours. Asking someone to tell you who you are is unfair to everyone involved. If you have to ask I fear that there is no hope that what is said to you will really resonate.
No matter what you have ever done, you can be better. You are not the sum total of your mistakes. You have the right to make your own choices. You are entitled to your opinions. You are allowed to have bad days. You are worthy of sympathy. You are worthy of understand. You have value. You deserve all of the love and beautiful things that life will so frequently lavish you with.
Choose yourself. Choose this life. This is the day when everything can turn around.
Awkwardly Kissing Fish | The Lesbian Fundamentalist 
I have also learned in my thirty-something years that it’s okay to stop investing in people who hold you back from living authentically. Severing ties doesn’t need to be permanent, but as long as they remain a negative influence, life is too short to waste time on them.
LikeLike
That is actually really great advice! Thank you.
I think it’s a little difficult to recognize when people stop being positive influences. I tend to let them linger even after things become stagnant.
LikeLike
I know. We always want to give people the benefit of the doubt too. And it’s hard to separate someone’s good intentions from the results of their actions. Go with your feelings. If their influence takes you from a constitution that is balanced and zen, then it’s clear they are no good for you right now.
LikeLike
Absolutely! That’s a really amazing way to approach it.
LikeLike